After a few weeks of being away from my family, I have changed. While I won't go into details today about all that I did and dealt with while I was gone I can tell you that God used those days to draw me closer to Him and to remind me of the woman I want to be.
I want to be that woman.
That woman might be different for you, but let me tell you what she looks like to me. She is bright, witty, patient and loving. Her house is a home -- well kept and cozy. She knows how to make a meal, keep the house, play with the children and romance her husband without ever breaking her stride or losing her sense of "self". She knows how to save money, spend wisely and always look like she spent a fortune (all the while rocking clearance rack clothes and bargain shoes!). She's charitable and thoughtful -- willing to give her time and resources to those who need a hand up. Her day starts and ends with the Lord and she strives to fill every moment in between with His plan for her.
Let me tell you, when I first met the woman of Proverbs 31 I hated her. Well, maybe that's a little strong, I didn't hate her I just disliked her very, very much because she is this unattainable ideal that only God could create.
...that only God could create...hmmmm.
During my time away from my family I dealt with some very emotional situations coupled with some physically demanding times. Every morning I stood in the shower, letting the hottest water I could stand run over my head and begged God "do it today...I can't...it's all you". If you've never prayed that prayer in earnest, let me assure you that God answers it. He did for me, every morning for 17 days in a row.
And as I leaned on God to get through the day I realized something. I was doing things I didn't want to do, I'm not capable of doing, and that I didn't like doing. I was starting to look like that woman...the woman only God could create.
So when I came home I began asking God for more. Teach me -- I want to learn all the skills needed to be that woman. Strengthen me -- give me the physical strength to lose weight and do more around my house. Pour into me -- patience, wisdom, discernment, understanding, love...Lord, let me mirror you in all areas of my life as I lean into you.
You know what? It's working. I can feel a difference...I have a desire to do laundry; to scrub floors (we're talking on my hands and knees here); cook for my family; teach my children; plant a garden; devour books on homemaking, money saving and more; I want to learn more about the Bible; be a woman my husband finds irresistible; I have begun to see myself as that woman (in training)!!
So who is that woman for you?
Who is the woman that you want to be?
How can I pray for you so that you can believe God to guide you toward being that woman?