Friday, August 7, 2009

Friday Funny - Dog Doo Dance

Had a long week? Laugh it off. Enjoy a good belly laugh on me...or in this case at me.

I knew I was taking a chance, but I was too tired to really care. I picked my path carefully through the cool, wet grass. I hadn't "scooped" the back yard today so there were all sorts of land mines hidden in the darkness. If I could just walk him to the other side of the yard the puppy would "go" and I could go back inside to my warm bed. In the dim light I could just make out Triton's (our 12 week old puppy) outline as he sniffed around.

I patted my leg and walked a little faster. My bed and the indent from my head in my pillow were the only things I could think of. My eyelids hung low and were very heavy. Hurry up puppy!!

And then...it happened. I took another step and instead of the early morning dew it was soft and ookie. Yep, I had stepped in "it".

Ugh. The hose is around the side of the house and there are any number of awful surprises lying in the grass between here and there. So what do you do when you step in something awful in the middle of the night? I started wildly scraping and rubbing my foot on the grass. Gagging and whining I danced around the backyard.

Well, I must have looked like I was having fun because Triton decided to join in. Still trying to get my foot clean, I was not prepared for our stronger-than-he-looks pup to grab my nightgown and start pulling.

So there I am, my nightgown stretched to its limits, 2 a.m. in my backyard with dog poop on one foot and all I want to do is scream. As I begin trying to pull my nightgown back (yeah, not a good plan, I know that now!) I forget all about my foot and the grossness that is on my sole and the other piles of ookiness that are hiding in the grass.

I pull. He pulls. I pull. He pulls.

Then I hear what can only be the sounds of seams ripping and I am NOT going to stand in my backyard in my undies with poop on my foot. I'm just not. So I put one foot on the dog and pull with all I have. I won back my nightgown and began to run for the door.

And then, it happened again....

Yep. Other foot. New pile. And as I stand there trying to figure out whether to laugh or cry the puppy grabs my nightgown again. As I reach down to pull him off, I realize it was my icky foot that I held him back with during our tug-o-war. Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked toward the sky...

I laughed so hard I thought I would wake the neighborhood. Who goes through things like this? Just me?

I grabbed the pup's collar and we walked toward the side of the hose, land mines didn't scare me anymore we just had to get clean. And we did.

****

Just in case my 2 a.m. adventure didn't give you a chuckle I'm going to post a clip from one of my favorite comedians - Brian Regan. Turn up your speakers and enjoy.




He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. Job 8:21

8 comments:

Runner Mom said...

I am rolling with laughter! Bless your heart and your foot and your nightgown!! YOu are too funny!

Love you!
Susan

Molly said...

Love It! Thanks for the joy :-) I would have been ready to give away the dog or move to a new neighborhood...after a shower and more sleep of course!

Love from your Kentucky Sister in Ink,
Molly

Deanna said...

You met my daughter Sarah at She Speaks (http://sarahswordsofwitsdom.blogspot.com/) and she told me to look at your blog today! Extremely funny!!! We can so relate to the 'land mines' in the yard!!! You made me smile and laugh today...thanks!

Leebird said...

Ok, you know that picture Susan took of us laughing? That's me right now! :)

The Heart and Mind of a Woman said...

Are you sure you aren't a red-neck or related to me in some way? I would have personally loved to have seen this. I can only imagine and I have a pretty creative imagination.

Kristy

Kissed by the Creator said...

Howling, tears are gushing..my 10 yr old thinks I finally lost it when she sees me looking at words not a video on Facebook. Sweet story! Well not sweet...

Wendy said...

I'm glad it brought you laughter. :) And yes, even that your daughter thinks you're nuts. That kind of joy is priceless...so glad my unfortunate moment could provide it, well, sort of. LOL

Fields of gold said...

LOL!!! Oh sweet Wendy, I can only imagine!!! What a precious, patient doggy mama you are. Would loved to have been there laughing with you!

p.s. Brian's one of my favs too :) I saw him last Sept. and was sure I cracked my ribs I laughed so hard!!