"In 100 yards, turn left. Then make an immediate left. And make an immediate left."
Um? I couldn't have heard that right.
"In 100 yards, turn left. Then make an immediate left. And make an immediate left," she said again.
What? The calm, computerized voice of my GPS was asking me to turn around. Seriously? In a moment of panic (what exit is it??) I flipped the GPS on to show me the way home from Charlotte yesterday. I was tired and busy wrestling with God, afraid I'd miss where I was going I thought a co-pilot would be good.
Then my co-pilot lost her mind. First sign of trouble, that computer had me headed west. Funny, when I left home last Thursday Virginia was north of North Carolina. Second sign of trouble, the request for three immediate left turns on a divided highway. Donuts?? I think the NC humidity and frizzed her little wires; she wanted me to do donuts on a divided highway.
I was beginning to get extremely anxious. "I just wanna go home!" I was whining out loud.
Barreling down the road I was almost in tears. I had to get back to 85 -- wherever that was from here. And point my little silver van in the direction of Virginia -- hopefully that was still north. I crested a small hill as my blood pressure was skyrocketing and my heart beating in my ears...meltdown was coming.
Then a small little yellow sign on the side of the road caught my eye. There among the overgrown weeds and discarded junk was a new shiny little sign.
"You Need Jesus"
Who says God doesn't give you road signs? Huh?
I laughed out loud and began to pray. Oh Father, I hear You. Help me. Please. I am lost without You, even with computer guidance.
Within a few minutes there was a sign for 29 North. I followed it and that in turn brought me back to 85 North.
Oh how pleased I was to be back amongst the trucks and wide lanes. With the music blaring I was singing and dancing and just driving along. Going over the events of the weekend, God began to remind me that we have unfinished business.
I know, Father. I know what you want of me, but I can't.
I don't want to write that...don't want to splay open my heart for others to judge me. I don't want to be rejected for my story of failure and loss -- haven't I had that enough?
Father, I don't want to. But if it is what you want... (I began to cry, again) I will.
Suddenly my rear view mirror was filled with the front grill of this semi that apparently thought I should move. And in the breath before I got angry and told the truck driver off, I saw the sign. To the left of the license plate hung a red and white sign written backward so I could read it in the mirror.
"Jesus Loves You"
I love You too. I'm scared and nervous, but I'm ready.
***I will share my AWESOME She Speaks moment tomorrow and Wednesday. If you went, please leave a link to yours...I'd love to hear about them.