They say that admitting your problem is the first step to healing.
My name is Wendy and I struggle with unbelief.
Yep, I have a belief problem.
It isn't that I don't believe Jesus can save, heal, love and more. It isn't that I don't pray for those things or ask for those things.
It is that I just don't believe enough. There are times when I get caught in a cycle prayer or thoughts that start out "If you can" or "if you would". Like I am bothering God with my petitions. Like I don't think He will answer or He has time or that I am worth it to Him.
And in my desperation for healing, for saved family members, for a ministry that shines Jesus into the world I begin to live in the shadow of my unbelief. Like a little black rain cloud it hovers over my head, blocking out the Son and changing the look of my circumstance.
In Mark 9 there is a father desperate for the healing of his son and he finds himself asking for Jesus to heal him. As he answers Jesus' questions he says, "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
if you can do anything
We don't know if this man knew of Jesus' birthright. That He was the Son of God. But what we do know is this father believed in Jesus enough to ask Him to save His son. He believed in Him enough to be stirred into action.
Once he was in action his belief wavered. How many times has that happened to you? You believe God is calling you into action. You are on your feet or maybe on your knees and suddenly it happens...the rain cloud begins to hover. Hello unbelief.
if you can do anything
How does Jesus answer the man? Probably the same way He whispers to us from the height of the heavens into the depths of our hearts. “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes." (Mark 9:23)
Oooohhhh!! How I want to be one who believes. Who everything is possible for.
I'm not the only one those words convict. In Mark 9:24 the father cries out, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
I'm weak. I do believe, a little. But help me, Lord, to not live in the shadow of this dark cloud. Help me overcome my unbelief!
Like the son in Mark 9 our lives can be changed, healed and rescued from the darkness that lives in every corner.
Fight your unbelief. Strive to live in the light of Christ. Ask God for more it.
Father, I ask that you help me strengthen my belief muscles. That every time distrust or disbelief darken the skies of my life you would help me to reach out to You. Help my belief grow so that my unbelief is but a memory. Amen.