Thursday, February 24, 2011

Stupid & Mean

{this post was written by my sweet friend Mary was inspired by events that happened to me yesterday. The truths are too good not to share.}

i read a friend’s status update yesterday on facebook. a woman she had just met, with whom she has a mutual friend in common, said to her, ‘you’re not as fake as i had heard you were.’ my friend graciously said, ‘nice to meet you’ and went on with her children.
who has the nerve to say that OUT LOUD?
i personally have a defect with the filter betwixt my brain and my mouth.
and my memory is selective anymore.
i don’t think i’ve ever said anything that stupid and mean to someone’s face, much less in front of their children.
okay, probably i have. if i’m really being honest. i really just don’t remember anymore.
{but if i have ever been that stupid to or in front of you, please know how profoundly sorry i am.}
my response to her:
i am so sorry. how hurtful.
wonder what jesus has to say about that.
because here is what i’ve learned. and this has absolutely nothing to do with my friend who is nothing but genuine, if not transparent. her example, however, made me think on this.
it is very easy for me to hear the loving things people say about me. 
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I grew up in that world, "stupid & mean". And I would also add, sarcastic.

When I accepted Christ, it didn't "stick". I was one of the seeds on the rocks; grew up quick, but then got scorched. And it didn't take me long to be scorched. Thinking of it now, it seems like I was just a "number" in the book of baptisms. No one followed up.

I did the yo-yo thing with obedience. Back and forth, back and forth. For YEARS! It has honestly only been the last several years where obedience is more important than the worldly stuff.

I say that to say this. I totally understand what it feels like to have comments made like that, to your face, and in front of your children. I can also say that I have doled out several of my own, unfortunately.

It took me a lot of years to realize that speech of that nature was only negative and hurtful. And that it not only hurt who it was said to, but me also.

One of the "lessons" I learned thru all that is that we must remember that we need to hate the behavior and not the person. Each of us has a different relationship with God, at the same time. So we don't know where she is in her walk with God. Maybe she isn't walking and we need to say an extra prayer for her.

God will remind her what she said and she will be remorseful, in the right time. I know He did that for me and I was remorseful.

Unfortunately the comment also brings to mind is that maybe we need to reevaluate the relationship with the "friend in common". Maybe that incident was God's way of saying, "hold up, this is not where I want you to be with this person."

Also, I think the reaction was wonderful. That was true grace. I hope you feel as if you are on the top of the world, because I gotta tell you, when you said that, God smiled and said, "meet My child!"